Parenting ADHD’ers is a journey that has many seasons.
Reflection allows us time to appreciate how far we have come and gives us hope and focus to move forward.
Looking at my year in review, here are a few things I believe I did well and a few that I did not so well…
Things I did Well:
- I Stopped Apologising for my Son’s Drive to Win:
He is driven by the desire to win…at everything. I realised that this is not a bad thing. He approaches sports, math and board games with passion and grit. Always striving to be the best. I no longer worry about what that looks like to others.
- I Became an Active Listener:
Especially for my boys. I learned that lots of time they just need someone to listen, to vent too. Not someone to suggest solutions or fix the problem. Listening to them without interrupting allowed me to recognize that they have objective and mature points of view on many things. It allowed me to see their ability to think critically and understand potential solutions and consequences.
- I Became Self-Aware:
In many areas of my life, I grew in my self-awareness. What is my tipping point? When do I need a break? And how do I respond to my own big emotions? I learned how to practise calming strategies in the heated moments. Stepping back and breathing before reacting. This allowed me to appreciate my boys and their abilities so much more.
Things That I did Not so Well:
- Giving My Boys More Responsibility:
I struggle with letting go. Letting them learn how to do household chores through trial and error. I tend to be ruled by the “what ifs”. What if they do it wrong, what if they make a bigger mess. I have set a goal in 2019 to let them do it. It doesn’t matter if they do it the way I would, as long as they are learning the skill. Instead of worrying about the mess, I will help them clean it.
- Laugh More: Find Humour in the Moment:
I am not good at finding humour in the moment. As an ADHD’er myself I can be rigid do not easily find humour in things that are not interesting to me or if I have a task to do. As a Mama of 2 boys, there is a whole lotta silly happening in our household and I am working on finding the humour in Fortnite dance moves, and phrases like “ya buddy”.
- Trying New Things (Activities):
I generally do not try new activities. As a child, I played baseball and some soccer, but I was far from athletic. As an adult, fear has always held me back from going out and trying new things. What if I get hurt? Or worse yet, what if I embarrass myself – eek! But living with and raising boys who live and die by sports I want to learn new skills. Activities that we can do together. My goals in 2019 include learning how to skate ( in hockey skates) and running a 5km race with my son.
Parenting is hard and finding wins in everyday struggles can be just has hard. This is a big part of why I love doing a year in review. It allows me to think about the year, what really happened and where did I grow as a mother, wife and human.
Reviewing 2018 has left me feeling good about my parenting wins and confident in where I need to focus on getting better. I am ready to tackle 2019 with intention. Every day working toward becoming a better version of myself: Mom, Wife, Daughter, Friend and Sister.
To hear the full list of my parenting wins and areas that need work, Check out this week’s Mindful Mondays Facebook live video .